If, and only if, you feel ready to create outcomes and experiences that make your heart sing, here are 5 simple steps that you can start applying NOW:
1. Notice Your Inner Chatter
What are you telling yourself about yourself that puts you down and shakes your self image? Write it down on a piece of paper, tear it, or burn it.. or better tear it and then burn it :D watch the paper burn and declare out loud “Now, I set myself free!”.
2. Learn Your Strengths
CliftonStrengths Assessment is a great tool to find out about your strength. Here’s the link: www.gallup.com
It is worth your investment, of time and money, to get clarity on understanding how you are unique with your set of strengths. Research shows that chances you could find someone with the same top 10 CliftonStrengths results, in the same order as you, is 1 in 476 trillion! So you are unique and what you have to contribute, to yourself and the world around you, no one else can.
And if you want to explore more, find yourself a Strengths Coach to help deepen your self-understanding and define your way forward.
3. Embrace Your Vulnerabilities
Brene Brown said “Vulnerability is the thing we look first in people and avoid in ourselves”. Vulnerability is what makes you human, and human beings are meant to lean on each other.
Vulnerability often feels uncomfortable. BUT, if your own vulnerability doesn’t scare you, nothing else would. Here’s a small exercise to embracing your vulnerabilities:
Write down the following on a post-it note (feel free to edit the below statements in a way that resonates with you): > I have my blind spots. > I don’t have all the answers. > Sometimes I feel frustrated, confused, or unclear. > Unwanted situations / relationships are there for a reason, a good one. > And that’s ok ...
Stick it on your mirror, computer screen, or anywhere you can see it regularly for 21 days. This stands as a good reminder, to be imprinted in your mind within 21 days.
Ask for help.
4. Find a Role Model
Someone that inspires you with his/her confidence. This can be someone you personally know, or a public figure. What about this person is inspiring for you? This can help you define your direction in what confidence looks or sounds like, because people with confidence have the capacity to influence or inspire others. That’s how you got inspired.
When you feel unconfident, it’s like being imprisoned behind the bars of your own mind. Identifying a role model helps you see beyond those bars to an embodiment of where you want to be.
5. Practice Feeling “In Flow”
Allow at least 10 minutes daily to do something you love. Not because you have to, or someone expects you to, just simply because you love doing that thing. Something that gets you in a state of flow. It doesn’t have to be the same every day.
It could be as simple as staring out the window, going for a walk, gardening, yoga, listening to music, dancing, brain exercise… do one thing that you love doing for 10 minutes just for pure joy and fulfillment to help yourself feel “in flow”. This is when nothing else matters except that deep sense of satisfaction in the moment. Just like a one year old fully immersed and enjoying the moment.
True confidence is the result of understanding all parts of yourself, the light and the shadow, your strengths and vulnerabilities, and accepting both without judgment. You don’t need to be perfect to feel confident, perfection is usually not a quality to describe human beings. Let go of the toxic inner chatter, get to know yourself better, you will love what you find out. Then enjoy being in a state of flow.